ASPIE SEEKS LOVE (a documentary)
Synopsis:
David Matthews can’t get a date. He is a writer and artist with a great sense of humor and impeccable dry delivery. He has scored solo art shows around Pittsburgh, readings at coffee shops and acting gigs in a few short films. He’s got a nice job, house and car, and could even treat a lady to dinner. So what’s the problem?
At 41 years of age, David was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. This late-in-life diagnosis and lack of treatment in childhood has left David with a lot of catching up to do. Although David is highly intelligent, he has a major blind spot: empathy and understanding of the human, especially female, psyche.
Aspie Seeks Love follows David’s journey to understand his Asperger’s, improve as a person, writer, and artist, and find a meaningful relationship. We’ll watch David explore the world of online dating and we’ll also see his attempts to break out of his shell and connect with women in person. David’s quest for self-improvement will culminate in the Pittsburgh release party for his debut book Meltdown in the Cereal Aisle.
Work-in-progress teaser:
Music by Robin Vote
An earlier promo for the film:
Contact me to inquire about the film.
Well, Julie, congratulations for depicting me as an exceedingly-appealing gentleman; I’ve always wanted a favorable media presence. Seeing me tape fliers around Oakland–the feifdom of the University of Pittsburgh, for you non-Pittsburghers reading this–makes me smile. Seeing my coconut orangutan menagerie in one place makes me smile. Your professionalism makes me smile.
David – did you attend Edinboro University in PA back around 1988? As soon as I saw this clip, I immediately thought “That’s that guy who just wandered into my dorm room that one time!” Whoever it was, they just walked right in – the door was open and it was the middle of the day – and looked around for ten or fifteen seconds, muttered something, and then left. It almost seemed like some kind of strange, secret inspection. And then I was working in Squirrel Hill years later – maybe late 90′s – and I thought I saw you then, too.
Well done, Julie!
[...] a scene for my documentary, Aspie Seeks Love, that is also a literary event, open to the public. Check out this City Paper article on [...]
This looks great, Julie!
[...] Aspie Seeks Love by Julie Sokolow [...]
[...] ASPIE SEEKS LOVE (a documentary) by Julie Sokolow [...]
First of all, the film sounds interesting and inspiring. Autistic people can find it very difficult to navigate the dating world.
Second of all, I think you should consider if the problem is actually a lack of empathy. At the very least, I would ask that you reword your description to avoid perpetuating the offensive and ableist stereotype that autistics lack empathy. We don’t lack empathy any more than any other neurological category of person does. We process empathy (as well as lots of other sensory based perceptions) differently than neurotypical people and so the professionals in the study of autism (who are mostly NT), given their lack of understanding, have decided that we don’t have empathy. I don’t blame them for their lack of understanding, especially since many of us have trouble with being verbal at the age when we are most likely to see a professional, but there is ample evidence and testimony to support the idea that autistic people encompass a whole spectrum of empathy.
I would postulate that perhaps one of the reasons Mr. Matthews is having trouble dating is because he is buying into what these professionals (and the organizations which promote their paradigm, like Autism Speaks) are telling him is “wrong” with him. I would suggest he educate himself by way of the autistic community and find people who have similar difficulties living in the NT world and see if they might offer a useful perspective into how to interpret and come at those challenges. Find a positive place for people who are on the spectrum where you can relate to others who see the world in a similar way and who perhaps have been aware of their autism for longer and can offer a positive narrative off autistic life instead of the negatives the NT world throws at us daily.
Those of us who can’t understand how to communicate with the opposite sex thank you both.
I will try and get my brother to watch this. Unlike David, he doesn’t write or do art, and is incredible shy with no self-confidence at all. He’s approaching 40, works in a dead end job; no company will give him the time of day as he finds it so hard to articulate or express himself – especially emotionally. Yet he is extremely knowledgeable and has a heart of gold, and is a dedicated worker; but is also full of anger and self-loathing.
He lives with my Dad, who bares the brunt of his anger, childishness, and fits of extreme rage over nothing. I have tried everything I can do to get him help, but NOTHING has done a thing to help him. I just wish there was something out there that could help him, as he is destined to die alone having achieved nothing with his life, and it makes me so sad.